The Lumberjack Song? Isn't Monty Python's Classic Just Begging to be Reworded for Trump's I'm The President and I'm OK?

This Trump season is starting to come towards its inevitable end. Trump will never become President and he'll lose by epic landslide on November 8. We have just over 6 weeks left of this madness. But to celebrate that sillyness, why not go to the kings of silly. Lets reword that magnificently silly song, the Lumberjack Song as the President Song, as if sung by Donald Trump to imagine his Presidency. Enjoy:


I'm the President and I'm OK
(to tune of 'The Lumberjack Song' aka 'I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK' by Monty Python’s Flying Circus)


I never wanted to be a billionaire anyway
I just wanted to sing, to sing...


I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

I mock the Jews, I hate Muslims,
   To blacks I’m not renting
And when it comes to girlies
   I find them disgusting

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

I’ll build that wall, I’ll start trade wars
   They’ll hate us overseas
I’ll ruin our worldwide standing
   Like my four bankruptcies

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

Was for the war, against the war
   And then said: lets get out
But when Bush signed the treaty
   Blamed Obama for the rout

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

Break up NATO, screw the Saudis
   Give nukes to Japan
I’d rather deal with Putin
   He’s such a handsome man

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

I am pro life, I am pro choice
   I tell it like it is
My mind is always changing
   On matters like ISIS

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

I like Assad, and Kim Jong-Un
   El-Sisi, he is wise
When I’m compared to Hitler
   I say thats really nice

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

Carter says no, Obama: no
   Bill Clinton? He says no
The Bushes both they also
   All Presidents say no

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

I’ll nuke someone, a friend or foe
   But I do not know which
One thing you can depend on,
   Are tax cuts for the rich

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

“I love the Vets”, thats what I say
   But I tried not to pay
Now Vets as paper peddlers?
  I want them brushed away

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

I’m not so rich, I’m not that smart
   I’m not a billionaire
I squandered all my money
   And don’t even know where

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

I’m married thrice, and divorced twice
   Was unfaithful both times
I’d want to bang my daughter
   And thats not telling lies

I’m the President and I’m ok
   I tweet all night, I tweet all day
(He’s the President and its ok)
   (He tweets all night, he tweets all day)

Adapted lyrics by the Seventh Steve/HatRat. No lumberjacks were injured in the making of this parody but if any Trumpian emotions were trampled, good!

For those who'd like to see the previous lyrics to Trump, we published the revised words to Abba's Waterloo as 'Waterboard' 

The latest joke here about Trump was the real life hits of his all-too-forgotten early career as a punk rocker in the 1970s: Donald Trump and the Deplorables.

If you want more serious analysis of the race, my ex-pro debate coach's view of the upcoming debate Monday, is here.

Comments

[Per "wertigon" Ekström]

Very good... But at what point will the choir be disgusted at Trump's things? :)

[Tomi T Ahonen]

Hi Per

LOL good question. Problem is that the choir is obviously Newt Gingrich, Chris Christie, Rudy Giuliani and now joined by Ted Cruz. These guys are not easily disgusted.

But that last stanza haha, wanting to bang his daughter / and thats not telling lies - I think that could just be enough to get the choir to be puzzled, look at each other and wonder, what is wrong with this dude..

Tomi Ahonen :-)

[Winter]

Virtual reality first supports Trump, then Hillary,

Silicon Valley Money Floods to Hillary After Facebook Fat Cat Revealed as Secret Trumpkin
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/23/silicon-valley-money-floods-to-hillary-after-facebook-fat-cat-revealed-as-secret-trumpkin.html

[cornelius]

Hi Tomi,

Great lyrics but they are not going to improve the number of deplorables visiting your blog :-)
Where are Catriona, scott, tz, Stephen Reed, FIGJAM, virgil? They show up very rarely (mostly when Trump is doing OK in the polls). They are a key part of the fun. You gotta give it to them, they are entertaining.

[cornelius]

FIGJAM,

The problem with your post is that it contains a lie. Tomi does not delete posts that argue opposite points of view especially if they contain arguments (preferably backed up by numbers). In general if you have anything to contribute to the discussion, even if your point is different from Tomi's then your post will not be "censored". And swearing doesn't help either. Try not to post lies, try not to insult people around here and I think your posts will be fine. But you already know this. You just needed an excuse for smearing Tomi, right?

[sgtrock]

@FIGJAM;

I have disagreed with Tomi on a number of occasions. However, I did so politely, backed up my assertions with facts, and did my best to make cogent arguments to attempt to persuade him he was wrong. This is known as "good manners."

The few times that I've seen your posts before they were deleted, you being pretty negative to say the least. Tomi has zero tolerance for abusive language here. You don't want your posts deleted? Try being civil. It's not that hard.

[Eduardo M]

@FIGJAM

Why don't you tell us what you think Trump's policies would be on some key issues if he were elected, and why you think they would make things better?

[Tomi T Ahonen]

Hi Winter, cornelius, FIGJAM, sgtrock, Eduardo

Winter - This election is to an incredible degree a kind of 'intelligence test' of rational thinking. Trump's voters are the least educated and those who have either very strong faith overruling facts (religious right) or the misguided ie conspiracy nutters. Plus an assortment of the honestly racist haters ie Deplorables (which may overlap any of the above). Even among white voters, the college-educated whites support Hillary by a thin margin which never EVER happened before in US elections, the college-educated whites always voted Republican. Every single election, always. Its only the lowly-educated white voters who are flocking to Trump (perhaps because he said he likes the uneducated haha).

The coalition of smart sensible that is rushing to Hillary: all 5 living Presidents from both parties - this has NEVER happened, not one of them supports one of the 2 finalists in the race. Daddy Bush is already in the news that he will vote for Hillary. I expect W Bush to also join that before election day. Scientists overwhelmingly are for Hillary (but they often have been in recent years for Democrats). Businessmen are for Hillary (not one Fortune 100 company boss is for Trump the 'businessman'). Republicans are usually the party of business. Silicon Valley is near-unanimously for Hillary. The arts and culture mob (always for Democrats) from rock music to Hollywood to more creative arts are all for Hillary. The universities, even the Young Republicans club of Harvard - never endorsed a Democrat before, is against Trump. A long list of always-Conservative newspapers has now endorsed Hillary from red Texas to purple Ohio to blue California. A few of those newspapers had not endorsed a Democrat in literally 100 years. The former US foreign policy experts on BOTH sides of the aisle - massively prefer Hillary. The former US military leaders who NEVER have picked the Democrat, not even when it was a decorated military vet officer like Jimmy Carter or John Kerry - but for the first time ever, more former Generals and Admirals prefer Hillary to Trump. Its like an intelligence test. Anyone who KNOWS about things, is really an expert on it, especially in leadership of any field or leadership in government - they all flock to Hillary. Even tons of Republicans including several SITTING politician now in Government from Republican Governors to Senators to House Members. But Trump is appealing to the worst aspects of the base of conservatives and Republicans, the dumbest end of its bench, Sarah Palin, Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, and the most vile hated Republicans like Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, Sheriff Arpaio; and those Republicans whose careers were already doomed or utterly over like Rudy Giuliani, Mike Pence and Governor LePage. Chris Christie clearly also belonged in the last group now judging by how that Bridgegate trial has started.

If you want to see the worst failures of the Republican party in the past 2 or 3 decades, they are all with Trump. If you want to see the worst dregs of voters who gravitate to Trump, they are 'the Deplorables' ie as Hillary said: racists, sexists, homophobes, xenophobes, islamophobes - and these are attracted to the nutty wing of the party that has deserted all of its roots with Abraham Lincoln and even the recent evolution of its legacy that was Ronald Reagan. This is a stinking corpse now, that actively expels sane sensible moderate Republicans and only draws the worst elements to it, the vultures like now haha Ted Cruz.

By the way, the liberal wing of the Democrats is not very comfortable with a flood of former Republicans crashing their party trying to 'corrupt' their party haha.. There's a good amount of noise in the left wing spheres that this has gone on long enough, Hillary should not turn the Democratic party into a 'GOP Lite'. Note - when this kind of debate happens inside a party - that is a sign that things are going in the right direction. The Mondale Democratic party of 1984 was pure and lost in epic landlide in 1984. The Bill Clinton Democratic party of 1992 was 'triangulating' into moderate Republican areas of policies and a very moderate party - up to the discomfort of many liberal Democrats - but it won them the election, re-election and big margins in both houses of Congress. The GOP right now is having its 'Mondale moment'. History doesn't repeat but it does rhyme. This is not the same but it is similar. And only after the GOP can find itself with political positions that APPEAL to the blacks, Hispanics and women - and nominate candidates that look like blacks, Hispanics and women - and embrace facts and science and reason and compromise (like Bill Clinton in 1992) then they can come back from their wilderness. This is not their worst moment yet, 2016. Their worst is yet to come, likely 2020. The sad point about Trump for Republicans is, that they will not learn the right lessons out of Trump. They will think it was his rotten persona that lost them the election - not the AUTOPSY they wrote about Mitt Romney. So its VERY likely that year 2020 sees yet another variation of the 'win by division' methods that the 'pure' extremely-conservative Tea Party driven and Koch Brother funded GOP has become.

LOL long answer Winter but yes, also the virtual reality world is massively also showing Hillary tendencies even as one of their own secretly was/is a Trumpster.

cornelius - yeah I agree. Its more fun when our own - lets not call them Deplorables, they have been able to discuss with considerable civility and intellect here with us, but yeah the Trump supporters or Republican supporters, they've been quite quiet since Trump clinched the race. Do love hearing from them even if only occasionally. I do think we'll hear more after the election and a few may find that 'voice' of 'what now' thinking already in October, when it becomes clear that Trump is headed to an epic loss. (And I am of course now assuming Monday gives Hillary a victory in the debate, and whatever is the Bossie Surprise from Trump team, will fizzle out like Trump's other brilliant ideas to win the election like lying about what happened at his meeting in Mexico or how to appeal to blacks by promising more frisk-and-search in front of pure white audiences).

FIGJAM - you know perfectly well you are allowed to debate here on this blog and post totally opposing views to me, or to those comments posted by any of our readers. This blog has thousands of such comments that stand. You ALSO know from PERSONAL experience that you have some comments that were deleted. They didn't follow the rules. You know this. Don't bitch about it, follow the rules and behave like an adult and your comments will stand. I celebrate all who were right when I was wrong - because I learned from them and our readers on this blog learned from those comments. Its very normal to happen in a fast-moving industry like mobile/tech (or now this election) that things change fast and some supposed expert like me, makes a rash or outdated observation which needs to be corrected. And those corrections of MY views, have often come first from readers of this blog, which is why this blog audience is a kind of conscience for my consultancy. When the vibe among my readers is not in synch with my views, then I need to either re-examine my views, or learn to express my views better. Its very healthy. And I am always cheering those readers who turned out to be right, especially if I was wrong. But if you post lies or are a troll, or are abusive - then your comments do not SERVE my READERSHIP. They come here for a certain expectation. This is not an open forum. This is Tomi's digital home. You have to behave in Tomi's house. So FIGJAM, how is it? Will you behave or not?

cornelius & sgtrock - thanks. We all know FIGJAM also knows, he/she has had the right to post here, some comments have stayed and the ones that were deleted, FIGJAM knows perfectly well why each of those was deleted. But you also know, you've seen some of them haha.

Eduardo - thanks, I concur.

Tomi Ahonen :-)

[Isceald Glede]

Hi Tomi,

Deleting the swearing and contentless posts without feeding the troll is boring but necessary work for having a rational discussion on a blog. The fun comes when you can get people with opposing views to do some fact checking and critical thinking (or when they point you at evidence that you failed to do the same yourself).

"Uneducated" means different things to different people. I had a privileged upbringing and a school that encouraged curiosity, skepticism and finding answers for myself. To a _teacher_ from an underfunded state school, education meant rote learning a list of facts to regurgitate in an exam. When I said "the country would be a better place with more funding for education", I imagined a higher staff/student ratio and the resources for children to discover things for themselves. That teacher heard "a longer list of arbitrary 'facts' to memorise".

Millard Filmore recently pointed us at conservapedia, to remind Republicans what they used to say about morality before Trump. I found the site fascinating. Imagine the feeling of looking inside a difference engine to understand how it works, but instead, thanks to conservapedia you can do the same with a fundagelical brain. The site is slightly more coherent than a Scientology leaflet, and avoided the reasoning by analogy you find in a Watchtower booklet. There are plenty of straw man arguments that show the author has either never listened to someone capable of doing their own thinking, or is terrified that one of his victims might. In between the straw men are sentences in fundagelical language with all the technical terms clickable to take you to the fundagelical definition. Read slowly, and follow the links because so many words have definitions you will find alien.

A good place to start is the page about Truth. In the real world, I have found four basic categories of alethiometer (device for measuring truth).
1) In my heart I know it is true.
2) I read it in a book.
3) Provable from a small set of self consistent assumptions.
4) The test of truth is an experiment.

Conservapedia likes to appeal to authority and tradition. (For centuries the traditional authorities in medicine taught how to balance the four humors with leaches.) Ask which authority, and the chances are you get (2). If the authority is still alive, ask how authority knows it is true. The answer will either be (2) or some variation of (1) like "the voices told me so". (3) is mathematics, and (4) is science. The strange thing is that science uses mathematical models to make predictions that are tested with experiments. Two radically different tests for truth that work with each other. (1) is easily demolished with things like "psychotic axe murderers know in their hearts the chopping people up is the right thing to do". (2) is trashed with "How come you don't agree with that other group that reads the same book?" When a bunch or BAs or JWs realise my background is science, I usually go with "Do you want to know the big secret of science... the thing /they/ don't want you to know?... (4)". The look on the leader's face when the followers start thinking is wonderful.

You never change an entrenched position on the day of discussion. Sometimes you get people to start looking in new places, and making their own decisions in a day or two. Graphs are particularly effective. Words come from people who can be dismissed with labels like 'Republican', 'Democrat', 'Christian', 'Atheist' or whatever synonyms the listener uses for 'fool' and 'liar'. Numbers have less emotional baggage, and when placed on a graph it is easy for people to see a pattern. When you get some good numbers, tell us where they came from and let a graph do the talking. grouch found an excellent example:

http://politicsthatwork.com/graphs/income-growth-parties-middle-class

Thank you for sharing your insider knowledge of debating. It is refreshing to hear that experienced debaters understand that debate is not an alethiometer (perhaps, in a few decades the legal system will catch on). The authorities on intelligent design used to give clear definitions of their hypothesis, which were easily proved false with an example of an animal that did not match exactly one kind. (According to ID, selective breeding can enhance traits, but cannot change one _kind_ of animal into another). Then they tried to engage in 'scientific debate' without giving a list of kinds in the hope alethiometer 4 would be forgotten.

Tonight's experiment: Can Trump keep is temper under control for a couple of hours. Will the audience burst out laughing when Trump tries a swift boat. Can the moderators keep the candidates from interrupting:
H: ...Iraq. George Bush...
D: Excuse me!
M: You are excused.
H: ... and Dick Cheney...
D: Excuse me!
M: You should have gone before class started. The bathroom is that way.
D: Email server
M: Off you go. We will carry on without you, and you can have your turn when you come back.
D: Child molester
M: Haven't you done your business yet? Please remember:
If you sprinkle when you tinkle
please be sweet and wipe the seat.

[sgtrock]

@Isceald Glede;

Unfortunately, you are assuming that the moderator's job, as defined by his bosses, is to be a moderator. Instead, it's FAR more likely that his orders are to let Trump have his head at every opportunity because those self centered, egotistical morons think that he's such good TV.

To them, the debate is all about the money to be made during the commercial breaks. My guess is that they think a President Trump would be a great idea because they think he'll continue to be a ratings draw. Otherwise Trump would have been buried months ago under an avalanche of sober, unvarnished reports showing just how ugly a human being that he is while contrasting that with Clinton's record. Instead, we get the constant hammering home about "she caused those deaths at Benghazi!" and "her emails show she's incompetent!" and "the Clinton Foundation made the Clintons millions!"

Like grouch said a while back, mainstream news media is a complete waste of electrons. Unfortunately, that's where a very large chunk of the electorate, including the educated half, get their sole dose of news these days.

Nope, it's going to be Clinton vs. Trump AND the moderator. Here's hoping she's ready for it.

P.S. My Google newsfeed was dumping me a whole bunch of right wing crazy sites yesterday. I deleted them without reading, but I do remember that several were claiming that Obama was sending Hillary emails on her private server via a pseudonym and suggested all kinds of nefarious things were going on. I wonder if that was meant to be the first rumblings of the Bossie ambush? Maybe some tie to Haiti as well?

[Tomi T Ahonen]

Hi Everybody

Added a bit of Sunday humor to the blog. The 10 Laws of TrumpoDynamics, which includes the Trump Paradox; the Trump Constant; the Trump Motion Rule; and the Trump Gravitational Force. Enjoy

Tomi Ahonen :-)