Joke: Being part of 3G mobile revolution

When I blogged about the big news about 3G investments and Li Ka-Shing's surprising statement on behalf of the Hutchison Whampoa Group (owners of various "Three" branded 3G mobile operators in many advanced countries), I promised to dig up an old joke about 3G and post it here for us.

I went through them and ended up picking this, which is not only mine, but like so much of 3G, is a collaboration. This is the joke we authored to end our book 3G Marketing in 2004, so this is an original joke about mobile phones, by Sara Melkko, Timo Kasper and Tomi T Ahonen/HatRat. Enjoy:

Being Part of the 3G Revolution

You know you have missed the 3G revolution, when: 
-         you are the object of constant peer pressure by your family and friends to update your mobile phone
-         you possess only one (1) telephone
-         that annoying blinking sign of an envelope on your mobile phone screen keeps disturbing you, but you don't dare to ask your grandchildren again how to open the text message
-         you still have to CALL home to check what to buy at the grocer’s – instead of just being connected to the camera in your fridge
-         you find latest news from a newspaper, watch weather forecasts on TV and listen to traffic updates on the radio
-         you still leave voice mail instead of hanging up at the announcement and sending a text message instead
-         friends dismiss you because you don’t have your terminal switched on 24/7
-         you think this list is funny and you want to fax it to your friends.....  (wake up friend, nobody uses a fax any more, except lawyers, but as it is -they are "nobody"...)
-         you think this list is NOT funny and you want to harass your friends by mailing it to them.... except you don't have any stamps
-         you keep having to explain that yes you do have a mobile phone and yes it does function, only that you don't see the need to carry it everywhere

You know you are part of the 3G revolution, when:
-         you have walked into a traffic sign while composing a message or playing a game while walking
-         When you look back the good old times when a terminal was still called a mobile phone and the only thing you could do with it was to telephone
-         your drawers are full of terminals, wires, rechargers, spare batteries, handsfree sets and none are compatible with another
-         whenever you see a vending machine you instinctively point your mobile phone at it
-         you feel like all of society has forgotten you if you have not received  messages from anyone for the last two hours
-         the monthly bill to the provider is higher than the rent for you apartment… and you are more than happy to pay it.
-         you feel completely lost when you forget your mobile phone, and suicidal when your mobile phone gets stolen
-         you develop a tamagochi-like relationship with your terminal and speak of “feeding the baby” when you recharge the battery
-         you are so accustomed to taking snapshots of everybody with your camera phone that you have accidentally taken a picture of your own reflection in a mirror
-         you believe that there is a secret burial ground for old terminals somewhere in Lapland
-         you say to your spouse “honey, they are playing our ringing tone”

The above for entertainment purposes only. Does not reflect the opinions of any of the employers, present or past, nor current customers, colleagues of the authors, nor any companies or public personalities mentioned. Original humour by Sara Melkko, Timo Kasper and Tomi T Ahonen/HatRat 2004. Reprinted by permission from John Wiley & Sons, original appears in book 3G Marketing, 2004.

Comments

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Can i add another please...

* you're lover doesn't text you for 24 hours and you check out whether their social networking status has changed to "single" or they're advertising themselves on the 3G Dating Agency?

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HI Mariana and Romi

Thank you. VERY FUNNY Romi, you should have been in the book...

Tomi :-)

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