The CDB Blog is honored to reveal the fresh new economic theories relating to Trump that will take effect in his Presidency from 2017. This is still a preliminary set of 'final final' laws that are subject to revision and change, but the Economics Department at Trump University has now given us this set of new economic laws.
Post-Trumpian Economic Concepts (from the Economics Department at Trump University, by Department Chair John Miller Ph D, and Professor Emeritus John Barron, Ph D)
Profit - an outdated Pre-Trumpian economic myth. All businesses go into losses, the better the business, the bigger the loss. In one year alone, 1995, Mr Trump ran up a loss of 916 million dollars. Few businessmen have succeeded as much in one year.
Trade - is both a good thing and a bad thing. Its bad that American businesses move overseas. But its good to make Trump products overseas.
Debt - is a good thing. Mr Trump is the king of debt. He currently holds over 650 million dollars of debt. As American banks are rude and disrespectful and won’t lend to Mr Trump, now that wonderful debt is held by the Germans, the Russians, the Chinese, the Saudis and Japanese. There is no possibility of any conflict of interest.
Balance - is overrated.
Equilibrium - see Balance
Protection Racket - the way the USA can make money. Withdraw the US commitments from Japan and Europe and Saudi Arabia and South Korea. Just wait and see, they’ll start to pay us, believe me. Nice little country you got over here; shame if something were to happen to it.
Gamble - a safe bet or a sure thing. When you gamble on something absolutely certain like a Trump University degree or buy Trump vodka, you cannot lose. Trump personally ran a casino that managed to lose 649 million dollars in a ten year period becoming the only casino company in the USA to ever lose money and to go bankrupt. Four times.
Scarcity - a city of scars, inner cities, hellscapes where gangs of blacks, hispanics, Muslims, Jews, gays, transvestites and Mormons roam the streets in search for white Christians to burn, rape, kill and eat while not necessarily in that order
Nothing - if you start from nothing and grow your business, you are a genuine business genius. Like Mr Trump who started out literally with nothing, with only a small loan of 14 million dollars from his dad and managed to wipe that out.
Salary - may be less if you’re a woman. Last paycheck will not be paid if employment ends for any reason.
Taxes - are too high and must be lowered the most to those on the top. Mr Trump has not personally paid taxes for 18 years but he still wants a new tax cut for his family worth four Billion dollars. Also No Tax Returns!
Invoice - will not be paid. But you may be sued.
Elasticity - the way a young woman will bend, in particular if she is not too much overweight, as determined by the expert eyes of Mr Trump, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani and Roger Ailes, all men who themselves are in tip-top shape.
Investment - its like putting money in a bank. Investors who invested in Trump hotel and resort business in the mid 1990s saw the stock market grow in value by 2.5 times over the next 10 years, while their investment lost 90% of its value in the same period. They still got out 10 cents for every dollar they put in. That is what an investment is like. Mr Trump wants to do to America what he did to his own businesses. Make America Great Again!
Hooker - see wife.
Supply and Demand - is the other way the USA can make money. Who needs Alaska anyway? Sell it back to the Russkies. Putin wants a Novorossiya, a New Russia, so lets sell Alaska to him. Put America on a diet. We get the money, he gets more space, and bonus, we get rid of that airhead Sarah Palin. Next I’ll negotiate with Mexico to sell them Texas so we get rid of Ted Cruz, Louie Gohmert, Rick Perry and those nasty Bushes.
Alimony - see ex-wife and pre-nuptial.
Microeconomics - as an economic science discipline has been ended after it was determined Mr Trump’s hands (and other body parts) are of normal size.
The above joke by The Seventh Steve / T-Dawg / HatRat intended solely to mock Donald Trump. No economists were harmed in the making of this joke but a certain percentage of economists may disagree. We do hope that Trump will be discomforted by ridicule like this.
This joke may be freely shared. You do not have to include links to this blog, but I do appreciate if, if you do.
My previous joke about Trump was the 10 Laws of TrumpoDynamics, also from Trump University.